Chapter 46: Playing games

Wes was exactly where Janet left him, at the bottom of the stairs looking up at her. As she came down with her laptop, he smiled and set her heart aflutter. She approached him slowly and couldn’t help smiling back.

When she stopped at the bottom step, he took the computer out of her hands. Then he did something she didn’t expect--at least she told herself she didn't. He wrapped one arm around her and kissed her…soundly. He made her knees go weak. 

“Wes,” she mumbled. "Mom said..."

"We're not in your room," Wes reminded her and resumed kissing.

“Yeah, but...I don’t think we’re pretending anymore.” 

He just smiled and kissed her again. Little star bursts exploded in her chest. 

“Wes,” she said, half-heartedly pushing him away. “Did you hear me?”

“I always do,” he said and he kissed her one more time.

Now she grew dizzy. “Wes, listen to me,” she said, earnest now.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, still holding fast to her, staring intently into her eyes and looking very much like he wanted to kiss her some more.

A snippet of their previous discussion suddenly popped into Janet's head.

“You can’t even see love when it’s right in front of your eyes, when it’s staring you in the face.”

She stared at him as a light bulb went on in her head. “Were you ever pretending?” she asked.

The wheels in his head turned at the speed of light as he gazed into her beautiful doe eyes. What did she want to hear? What wouldn’t freak her out?

“Does it matter?” he said at last.

She gaped. “So… you’re not…pretending?”

“Is that so bad, Janet?” he asked, a pleading look on his face.

Was it bad? At one time she may have known and thought herself certain of it, but now? Looking at Wes and knowing how he made her feel, she wasn’t sure anymore. She just didn’t know. 

A fierce internal struggle erupted within her. It seemed as if two parts of her debated the merits of…of what?

“It’s love, of course, and it’s good,” one side said.

“What are you nuts? Love is bad!”

“But why?”

“Because, no good can come from it.”

“How bad could it be, really? When everyone wants it, everybody seeks it and they even pay good money to get it.”

“It causes nothing but trouble.”

“There are plenty of happy people out there, happy people in love.”

“And there are even more people that are miserable because of it. Look at Mom, look at Mr. Sebastian, look at Aunt May, look at Mr. Frank. They’re all miserable because love sucked them in and bled them dry.”

“It’s not love’s fault that people die. Mr. Sebastian and Aunt May  will bounce back. They will find love again. They all will eventually.”

“How long do we have to wait for eventually?”

“As long as it takes."

"That's too long."
 

"They say love makes the world go round.”

“That’s the gravitational pull of the sun.”

“So many people say it’s worth everything to have love. You heard all those couples at the party today.”

“That won’t last and you know it.”

“It’s better to love a little bit than never at all.”

“Yeah right! When love dies, that’s when the fun starts. Heartbreak is great!”

“No it’s not, but you get over it. People do all the time.”

“Love causes pain. Pain makes us hurt. If it hurts enough, it kills you.”

“No one ever died from a broken heart!”

“Tell that to Aunt May and Mr. Sebastian. Tell that to Mr. Frank and to Mom when she’s crying her eyes out every night.”

“Janet, talk to me,” Wes said, intruding into her thoughts. He placed his free hand on her cheek. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“You’ve ruined everything,” she said, slapping his hand away.

“What do you mean?”

“We were…we were supposed to be friends…just friends. We were supposed to be pretending,” she said.

“We still are,” he said, taking hold of her hand. 

She snatched that away, too. “We can’t be friends if you’re in love with me,” she snapped.

Even though stunned by her scathing remark, he smirked. So it was going to be like this, was it? He was getting sick and tired of her games. He knew she felt almost the same as he did. Maybe she wasn’t in love as he was, but she certainly liked him. That he knew and still she insisted they were just pretending?  Well, if she wanted to play games, he could play along if he had to and it seemed to him he did have to or he’d lose her for good.

 “You’re quite full of yourself, aren’t you?” he said, his expression blank.

“What do you mean?” she said.

“No wonder Luke wants you to sing with him. You’re already part Diva.”

“What?” she mumbled, totally thrown.

“Who the hell said anything about love?” he said.

She opened her mouth then closed it again. “You did. Up in my room you said...”

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “So, you just assumed I’m in love with you? Well, I’m not. You’ve convinced me. There’s no such thing as love.  Love is an angel disguised as lust.” 

“Huh?” Janet said, completely confused.

He chuckled, though without much mirth. “It’s a song. You and Luke can sing it together.  And who knows?  Maybe he’ll fall for you and feed your ego some more.”

She gasped. “I don’t want Luke or anyone falling for me!”

“Well, with that attitude, you’ll get your wish,” Wes said, glancing down at the computer. “Where can I do this?”

Janet stared at him not at all understanding what just happened.  An odd twisting feeling settled into her stomach and made her feel unduly uncomfortable.  She hadn't expected this. This was a totally different Wes than the one who had just been kissing her, the one who had treated her like a princess all this time, from the start, the one who had made her feel better when things went wrong, the one who admitted being jealous because of Luke. This made no sense. Surely he didn't mean any of that. What was he playing at? Was this a mind game?

“I don’t believe you,” she whispered.

“No?” he said, carelessly. 

“No. Nobody... kisses like that if you don’t mean it,” Janet said.

He grinned. “Yeah, I like kissing. I’ve gotten used to it by now. I wish I'd started sooner actually. It feels real good. I also like the feel of a girl next to me. That feels great, especially when you’re kissing, but I got news for you, Janet. Kissing you is the same as kissing anybody else. I’d get the same thrill from kissing your sister and I don’t even like her. Any girl would do.”

He paused and hated himself for causing the stunned and possibly hurt expression on her face, but it was too late to back down now. She didn’t want him to be in love with her, so he’d pretend he wasn’t, just like she was pretending.

“Now that we know neither one of us is in love, we can be friends again and go back to pretending. So, can we get to this website? I’d like to finish it before we go to dinner. Which reminds me, you better make reservations.  Mr. Frank has tons of friends, so his place will be packed even on a dreary opening day like today. I’ll be in the kitchen so nobody bothers me.”

He turned and took two steps then went back to her. “Oh, I forgot,” he said and he grabbed her and kissed her roughly. “Yeah, I love that.” Then he went into the kitchen.

Janet stood breathless. “What the heck?” she mumbled staring after him, completely shocked and, to her dismay, a little hurt. 

She never imagined Wes could be so callous, but then…she never thought her father would be either.