Janet the Yenta

Meet Janet Fummel, the Yenta. She’s the perfect match-maker, because even though she no longer believes in love--not since her parents split up--she can get paid for hooking up others. But when she meets Wes Sebastian she starts to rethink things. Can Wes make her believe in love again?


Don't get any funny ideas!

©2013 Glory Lennon All Rights Reserved

Friday, January 28, 2011

Chapter 7: Lunch with the yenta

“How’s my yenta today?” Wes asked. He sat down behind Janet in English class like he always did and waited for her brilliant smile to jump start his day.

“Do I know you?” she asked, unconcerned. Visibly shocked he merely started at her. Then she giggled. “Guys are so easy.” 

Relief washed over him. “And you are adorable.” he couldn’t help saying.


Her eyes flew open in surprise. “Adorable? Me? Now, that’s a new one. No one’s ever said that, not even Mom.”  Of course, that was a lie and she knew it. She recalled a time her father had called her that every single day. Her smile faded.

“Laptop still running I see. No more problems?” he asked.

She forced her own father out of her mind. “Good as new. I wanted to ask you about your dad. Is there something he likes to do after work or on weekends like play basketball with his buddies or out to a bar, something like that? Any hobbies at all?”

“My dad? No, he barely leaves the house anymore except for work. My Aunt Beth has been trying to get him to go to their house for dinner but he won’t even do that. He’s been drowning himself in work. He’s truly lost without my mom,” he replied dejectedly.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Chapter 6: Destiny is calling

“Destiny is calling,” Janet said, grabbing Wes by the hand and dragging him to the car.

“Is Destiny a friend of yours? You setting me up with her?” Wes asked, grinning.

“Smart guy, aren’t you? No, but you should tell me what you are looking for in a girl and I will work my magic. Anyone specific in mind?” she asked brightly.

He started at her for a minute. “Yes, but I want to see who you come up with.  I must warn you, though.  I’m extremely hard to please. She needs to be as extraordinarily pretty as she is intelligent.”

“On the same girl?” she asked aghast. “That will be impossible.”

He smirked. “And she must possess unending wit and charm.”

“Oh, man. You’re really going to make me work for this, aren’t you?” she muttered, grimacing.

“Oh, and I almost forgot the most important thing,” he continued.


“She has to descend from Mount Olympus?” she asked ruefully. 

“No, she has to make me laugh,” he stated simply.

“I don’t think I know anybody like that,” she answered as she stared into space.“Well, at least you weren’t specific about looks. That would make it even more difficult.”

“You didn’t let me finish. I only like brunettes, with big, brown eyes and she can’t be a skinny little nothing. I like curves,” he said.

She sighed deeply. “Well, Jasmine would have been perfect but she’s off the market. This is not going to be easy.” she said sadly. She suddenly looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You better be worth it.”

“Excuse me?” he said.

“I mean you better fix that laptop perfectly if you’re going to make me work this hard for you.”

“Oh, I’m worth it. Believe me,” he replied smirking that sexy way of his. Just then Troy and Jasmine came to the car.

“About time. The Genius needs to get going on my laptop or he won’t get his dream girl. I may as well tell you now, Wes, this girl you’re looking for, or that I’m looking for, may not exist. You might want to harden yourself to that fact,” Janet stated grimly and she jumped into the back seat.

“I wouldn’t say that. I know for a fact she exists,” Wes said quietly. He winked at Troy and Jasmine before getting in after Janet. They exchanged significant looks and suppressed a laugh. 

“Finally!” Janet shouted irritably when Troy’s car stopped in front of her home. She practically shoved Wes out of the car and tugged him up the walkway with her lap top snugly under her arm. She led him to the family room where there was no one to bother them. She then shoved him unceremoniously onto the couch and tossed herself down next to him after kicking off her high heels and tucking her feet under her. She placed the laptop on his lap and watched him expectantly. 

He suppressed a laugh and opened it with her peering around his shoulder. “Well? What’s wrong with it?” she asked before he did anything.

“I don’t work well under such pressure,” he told her calmly.

“You better, ‘cause I’m nothing but pressure right now,” she said almost hysterically.

“Janet, take a breather and leave me alone with the patient for ...say ten minutes and then you can come back and ask me how it’s going. Okay?” he said reassuringly. “Go on, I’ll take good care of your baby and it probably won’t hurt a bit, I promise.”  He tried not to laugh at her apprehensive face. 

She ultimately acquiesced and with extreme reluctance left him with her precious laptop. She went to pace in the kitchen. She looked at her watch ten times and after seven excruciating minutes he came to find her and smiled. “It’s a girl. Congratulations, Mommy,” he said holding out the computer.

Her heart did a tumble. "You're not done so quick," she said, skeptical. She took it from him and placed it on the kitchen table.“You really did it. It’s fine, like nothing was wrong with it. How did you do that?” she asked sounding in awe. She looked up at him as he leaned down to look into the screen and her pretty face. 

“If I told you that, you wouldn't need me. Happy?” he asked needlessly.

She stared up at him for a minute before she giggled and before she knew what she was doing she grabbed his face and kissed him. “Thanks, Genius. You’re the best! I’ll get you your dream girl if it kills me. Can I get you a drink or something?” she said brightly as she went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water.

Wes, a funny look on his face, listened as she chatted endlessly about the girl she would get for him. He wondered if he should just hold up a mirror to her and see if she would get the hint. 

“Come sit down so I can show you this,” she told him bossily. “This is Tiffany Burrows. She’s pretty, don’t you think? Only...I don’t think she knows up from down, right from left, that sort of thing. Are you sure that’s really important for you?”

“Immeasurably, and she’s blonde,” he said stoically.

“She is?" she said staring at the picture. "Oh, yeah, that won’t work but hey, that kind of blonde comes from a bottle, you know,” she told him conspiratorially.

“But there’s nothing you can pour into her head to make her less than a dimwit. No for Tiffany Burrows. Try again. I’m in no rush. Just as long as I have someone for Prom, I’ll be okay. Dad has threatened all sorts of punishment if I don’t take someone to the Prom,” he said through gritted teeth.

“It might take me that long,” she said as she searched her files.


“Then I may have to take it out on you if you fail in your search,” he said.

“You’re gonna beat me up? Don’t tell me. You do computer work for the mob, too,” she retorted. “I always thought Nuatano Con Pesce was a mob-run place. You know what it means, don’t you? Swimming with the fishes,” she told him with her eyes wide in mock fear.

He burst out laughing. “My Yenta is a funny girl. I mean if you fail what else can I do but take you to the Prom,” he said, his sexy smirk in place.

She made a weird face. “Couldn’t I just get you a call girl for the night?” she asked hopefully.

He laughed again. “You are such a nut.”

She leaned toward him and whispered dramatically, her eyes wild looking,  “You have no idea.”

He was just going in for a kiss when she swiftly returned to her laptop clicking around happily. Troy and Jasmine came in just then with their arms around each other and practically glued at the lips. 

“Oh, must you bring that in here?" Janet groaned. "How am I to work with all this...love in the air? I’ll never get a girl for the Genius this way.”

 “You might want to try looking in the mirror.” Troy snapped then grabbed a soda and took Jasmine back into the living room.

“Did he say something to me?” Janet asked distractedly.

“How will you find someone for my dad?” Wes asked. “I’d like it if you worked on him first, if that’s okay.”

“Well, guess what? I can do both at once. Tell me all I need to know about your papa.” she said, opening another file.


She listened attentively putting down all important facts and with a flick of a switch she found seven women who fit the bill for Donny Sebastian, Wes’ father.
“What’s he look like?” she asked as she flicked around.
“Nothing like me. Here’s a picture,” Wes said pulling out his wallet and showing her a picture of his parents.
Janet looked at the happy faces and suddenly felt like crying but she blinked quickly and cleared her throat. “Nothing? You have the same features. Only your hair and eyes are different. He can’t deny you. That’s for sure. Your mom was so beautiful.  This your sister?” she asked looking at the other pictures in his wallet, without permission.
“Yes, Cindy. She’s fourteen now but that’s her at five, my favorite picture of her. That was before she turned into an obnoxious teenager” he replied.
“Well, weren’t you an obnoxious teen when you were fourteen? She’s just getting back at you. Wonder if Stevie knows her? He’s our brother. He’s fourteen, too.”
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t set her up with anyone just yet. I worry about her as it is,” he said bracingly.
She laughed. “That wasn’t what I was thinking. I do only high school and above. The juniors will have to fend for themselves for now. So, tell me if you have any criteria for a step mom, no warts, rosy cheek, no strippers that sort of thing.”
 He smiled slightly. “I just want someone my dad can love who will love him back as he deserves. I just want him happy again,” he said unable to keep the sadness from his voice.
Janet’s eyes misted over. She stared at him and smiled. “That’s awfully nice. I’ll try my best, okay?” she assured him.
Her dewy doe-eyes were drawing him in. They were sitting so close. Couldn’t he just kiss her, he wondered, and leave behind all pretense?
“Wes, ready to go? I’ve got some work back home,” Troy said, breaking the spell completely.


“I think so. Is my yenta satisfied?” he asked needlessly. He could see quite clearly she had her good humor back now that she had a well-functioning computer.
“You are officially my new best friend. How’s that?” she told him excitedly.
 Her brilliant smile caused ripples of warmth to run through his veins.
“Good to know. Good night, Yenta. Thanks for a very entertaining night. Best I’ve had in a long time,” Wes said . He got up slowly and followed Troy to his car. He sat staring into the night not seeing anything but Janet and her beautiful eyes, Janet and her mesmerizing smile, Janet and that adorable giggle, Janet and her vivacious nature.
“Hello? Wes to Earth. Gees, you got it bad but who am I to talk? Jasmine has been doing that to me forever,” Troy said.  He laughed until a sobering thought occurred to him. “Hey, you’re not gonna try and steal Jasmine away from me, are you?”
“Excuse me? You do realize I want Janet not Jasmine. They may look identical but...”
“They’re not...I mean...yeah, they’re identical twins but they’re very different. Everyone thinks they’re exactly alike but it isn’t at all true. They’re total opposites. My Jasmine is sweet, funny and kind and...” He decided to shut up. He didn’t want to give Wes a reason to go for Jasmine.
“Strange, I thought the same thing about Janet. We just must see things differently. I’m sure Jasmine is wonderful for you, but she doesn’t do it for me so don’t worry. You can have her,” He suddenly laughed. “Really, Troy, do you actually think anyone has a chance with her when anyone can tell she’s crazy for you?” he replied with a smirk. He paused for a minute then continued,  “Have any advice?” he asked cautiously.


Troy was slightly taken aback. He was not the one to be asked this, he thought. He had no trouble asking girls out before getting together with Jasmine. But that had been because he didn’t care if they said yes or no.  He had been so stuck wanting Jasmine that everyone else was just a poor substitute.
 When it came to Jasmine he had been tongue tied, nervous and utterly graceless. If it hadn’t been for Janet he would never have had the nerve to ask her out.
 “Wes, I don’t know what to tell ya. Janet is tough. I don’t think she’s ever had a boyfriend. I thought for a while she was gay but Jasmine says she’s not. But she’s really tough,” he said apologetically.
“Tough, huh?” Wes mumbled to himself as he lay in bed later that night staring up at the ceiling. Even in the dark he could still only see Janet. “I can handle tough. Love a challenge. We’ll see how tough my little yenta is,” he said to himself and he promptly fell asleep to dream of Janet, the yenta.


Monday, January 24, 2011

Chapter 5: Romance is a drug

“This place is beautiful. The sunset must be nice here in summer. I wish it was summer,” Jasmine said, pouting.


“I’ll bring you back in summer too,” Troy told her, kissing her softly.

“Oh, brother. I’m gonna have to put up with that all night?” Janet muttered under her breath. 

Wes leaned down to speak quietly in her ear. “Not the right attitude for a purveyor of romance, I think,” he said.

“The best drug dealers don’t sample their own product,” she countered icily.

“Oh, I see. Romance is a drug and you want to keep a clear head for business.”

“Precisely,” she replied.

“That could happen, I suppose, but it’s different for romance.”

“How’s that?” she asked glowering.

“Well, the best writers of romance are usually in very loving relationships. Did you know that?” he asked as they entered the restaurant and waited to be seated.

“I doubt that,” she scoffed. “I’ll bet they’re all delusional, depressed and lonely because they haven’t a clue what reality is. Their heads are probably stuffed with all these silly romantic notions. Well, there is no happily-ever-after.”

Wes stared at her, an unreadable expression on his face. “No, my mother wasn’t like that at all. She was very happy with my dad. He was the love of her life and she his,” he answered slowly, again noticing horror cross her face.

“Your mom wrote romance novels?” Janet asked, incredulous. When he nodded she gulped.   “I’m sorry...I...I ...”

“Obviously don’t know what you’re talking about?” he suggested.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say!” she snapped. 

He chuckled just as the hostess called them forward. “I think we should have separate tables,” Wes suggested much to the obvious delight of both Jasmine and Troy.


 Janet groaned. This was consternation indeed. She couldn’t help feeling she was being dragged into something she didn’t want. She just couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

 “We wouldn’t want to bore you with dull business talk. And you surely don’t want us intruding on your date,” he continued serenely.

They were shown to different parts of the room though both with an equally pretty view of the harbor.

“So, tell me your life story,” Wes asked after they were seated and the waiter handed them menus.

“Excuse me? How is that business talk?” Janet asked frowning. “Hey! You didn’t bring the lap top in. How are you supposed to fix it?” 

“I didn’t say I would do it during dinner,” he calmly replied. “Would you care for a glass of wine, Janet?”

She imagined, just for a second, drop kicking his head and watching it roll down the aisle between the many tables. “I’m sixteen, you idiot, but sure, if you can get me a glass I’ll drink it. I’d like a little buzz right about now,” she said, waspishly.

He laughed. “You’re funny.  I mean you’re very different than what you appear to be in school when you have the world at your feet. You don’t seem to take well to the situation when you no longer control it.”

She bristled. “And who says I’m not in control?” she said.

“Forgive me. I must be mistaken,” he said hiding his smirk behind the menu.

“You said you knew the owner here,” she said frowning again.


“Yes, Mr. Sabatelli. Great guy, dreadful computer skills. Have had to bail him out of many messes, mostly self-inflicted. Have you decided what you want? I think I’ll go for the lobster bisque. Hopefully it’s half as good as Mommy used to make. She was a wonderful cook,” he said, slightly wistful.

Janet imagined for a moment losing her mother to a drunk driver. She knew she wouldn’t be happy for many years after that. A dreadful ache started in her chest until she admonished herself. She still had her mother and shouldn’t be thinking of such awful things anyway. 

“You must miss her,” she heard herself say.

“Terribly, but not nearly as much as my dad does. You don’t lose the love of your life and get over it too quickly,” he suddenly put down his menu and stared at Janet as if seeing her for the first time. “Perhaps I can use your services...for my dad, I mean. You can help him find another love of his life.” 

“Isn’t that an oxymoron? You can’t have two loves of your life,” she said.

“Is that a steadfast rule?” he asked curiously.

She made a funny face. “I don’t think I’m the one to ask,” she admitted and took a sip of water just as the waiter came to get their order. Once the order was placed and the waiter was gone Janet looked at her sister and Troy who were so lost in each other, it was sickening.  She grimaced, shaking her head. She stopped suddenly once she realized Wes was watching her. 

“What?” she said.

“I didn’t say anything,” he replied.

“But you were thinking something,” she accused.

He grinned. “Sorry, I am not one of those fortunate people that can easily shut off the brain. Yes, I was thinking, always am. And I suspect you are to. Penny for your thoughts.”


“My thoughts are worth way more than that,” she assured.

“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?” he asked, smirking.

She glared at him. “Wait a minute. You did say that you would fix it during dinner, I know you did or I wouldn’t have bothered coming. You are a liar,” she told him triumphantly.

“I think you misunderstood. How could I, in good conscience, bring a lap top to a fine restaurant such as this and spend time fiddling with it? It surely would disturb other patrons not ingratiating myself to Mr. Sabatelli who is one of my favorite costumers,” he said. “There’s time enough for that later.” 

She narrowed her eyes.  “How come I get the feeling I’ve been had? You’ve lured me here under false pretenses when all I wanted was a working laptop.”

“You’re a lot better tempered at school,” he observed. “Is it that you love school or that you despise me or perhaps seafood?” he asked curiously.

“I don’t despise you and seafood…well, I can take it or leave it but school...well, I love school!” she said jubilantly.

“Do you? Why?”

 “All those kids with so many hang ups, so many trivial problems.  ‘Oh, I’ve got a pimple.’, ‘I don’t have the coolest jeans in the school.’, ‘I can’t understand geometry.’, ‘I can’t get lover boy to notice me.’, I love the drama!” she said with an infectious giggle.

He laughed.  “And here I thought it was the love of Shakespear,” he said.


She proceeded to tell him all that endeared her to school and its inhabitants. Strangely enough all thought of her precious laptop flew out of her mind until after their meal was finished and they joined Troy and Jasmine outside to watch the passing ships sail in the dark.

The moon threw shimmering lights onto the surface of the water making the evening just right for lovers. Lovers like Troy and Jasmine, that is. They clung to each other completely oblivious to anything around them. 

“You’d think they would eventually get sick of each other,” Janet grumbled. “It’s been almost a year since I got those two together. At this rate I won’t get any return business from either of them.”

Wes, who had been staring at Janet and not the two lovers, came out of his daze with a shake of his head. “Uh, do you get a lot of…um… return business?” he asked as he watched the moonlight sparkles in her wide brown eyes.

“Well, it is high school, isn’t it? If a romance lasts more than a month they consider it successful. Who am I to tell them otherwise?” she stated loftily.

“Right. So, it’s not as I thought, a one shot deal and people stop needing you. That’s good. But I wonder, does no one ask for a refund from a bad romance?”

“No one has yet. Are you trying to jinx me?” she asked suspiciously.

He laughed. “Not in a million years. So, how does this work if I were to ask you to find a match for my dad or do you only do high school?”

“I’ve already set up Vice-Principle McIntyre with Mrs. Palmer and they are very happy,” she replied smiling gleefully.

“Isn’t she already married?” he asked, aghast.

“No, she’s been divorced for a long time but she was keeping it quiet. She’s a bit shy,” Janet explained.


“And why would she tell you if she was keeping it secret?” he asked curiously. “Unless… she hired you?”

“No, she didn’t. My mother goes to the same exercise classes with her. They got to be friends and I overheard one day,” she said. Seeing the disapproving look on his face, she quickly changed the subject.
“So, you’ll need to email me some information about your dad so I can see what I can do for him. Do you want him involved or is this to be clandestine?” she asked.

“You can do that? How?” he asked.

“Well, if I told you that, you wouldn't need me,” she replied smiling sweetly up at him.

 Something in his gaze unsettled her a bit. She quickly stepped back and shouted,   “Hey, guys, how about you leave something for Prom night. Let’s go. I need my computer running. Come on, Genius. Destiny is calling.”