Chapter 21: Talk to me

“For a girl who said she was hungry, you’re not eating much,” Wes said. “If you don’t like the salad, you can have half my sandwich or I can get you something else.”

“Huh?” Janet said, snapping back to the present. She had been a few light years away. “Oh, no, this is fine. Thanks.”

He watched her for a minute as she fiddled with the food, but ate little. “We can go for some ice cream later. Is that okay?” he said watching her with a creased brow.

“Sure,” she said poking at her salad, spearing a chunk of chicken and popping it into her mouth.

“Janet, please tell me what I did to upset you,” he said.

“You didn’t do anything,” she lied. Because she knew he was about to argue she quickly added, “How did you know baby spinach is my favorite?”

“Janet…”

“You didn’t tell me how you got passed all those people,” she interrupted, now sounding almost desperate.

Wes sighed. He knew a diversion when he saw it, but if she didn’t want to talk about what was bothering her, he wasn’t going to push. “What people?” he said unenthusiastically before taking a bite of his sandwich.

“At the restaurant. There was a line out the door, but you were in and out in ten minutes. How’d you do it? And don’t tell me you know the owner. Don’t see how that matters when there’s a huge lunch time rush,” she said, taking a sip of her drink.

“I get lunch there on Saturdays…always the same thing, sandwich for me, salad for my sister, but since she’s at a friend’s house today, you got her lunch,” he said with a shrug. “My mom used to like them and my sister does, so I thought you might too. I could get you something else. It’s no trouble,” Wes said, watching her anxiously.

“No, I like it fine,” she said frowning slightly. “So, you’re done by now on most Saturdays?”

“Done?” he asked.

“With your work and then you go home?” she said, curiously.

“No. Saturdays are my busiest days. Weekdays I have school and soccer, so I can’t do much. On weekends I’m free to work whenever. Sometimes I’m out working into the night. Depends. It’s been slow today.”

“You call today slow?” she said, incredulous. 

He laughed. “Phone usually is ringing off the hook.”

“Wow,” she said pensively. “But you still bring home lunch for your sister?” 

“Well, she’s not much of a cook, so, yeah,” he said. “And my dad’s always working, too. Someone’s gotta feed her.”

“Can’t she do anything for herself?” Janet asked.

“Of course she can, but you can only have so many PB&J’s and grilled cheese sandwiches before you’re sick of them. It’s usually the only thing in the house,” he said shrugging. “Happens when you don’t have a mother anymore to do the shopping and cooking.”

Janet didn’t know what to say to that, but she couldn’t have spoken if she wanted to. There was now a formidable constriction in her throat which threatened to choke her. And to make things worse, she felt like crying again. She tried to hide her face behind her curtain of hair, but at that moment Wes pushed it aside and looked at her. 

“Janet, what’s wrong?” he said. “Please, talk to me.”

She bit her quivering lip. “I’m sorry you don’t have a mom,” she whispered.

Taken aback, he stared at her. Was that all it was? Janet felt sorry for him?  Relief like he never knew stole over him.  It wasn’t anything he had done after all! But it actually was, he thought.  He kept mentioning his mother, didn’t he? He supposed he ought to stop it, but then…was that a good idea? She seemed to like him more when she felt sorry for him. On the other hand, it made her so sad. He didn’t like that!

Now he didn’t know what to do. until he took a look at her miserable face, that is. It tore at his heart.

“Janet, it’s okay, really,” he said, gently rubbing her back. “Things happen all the time, good and bad ones, but always for a reason. Mom used to tell us that all the time, so I gotta believe it. Don’t feel bad, okay?”

“Can’t help it. I keep thinking…” She bit her lip again, forcing the tears back. “You should come over for dinner, you and your sister, maybe your dad, too…anytime. My mom’s a really good cook,” she said earnestly.

“Shouldn’t you ask her first?” he said, grinning despite himself. 

“Maybe, but I know my mom. She loves feeding people especially if they can’t cook,” she said.

“Your mom is really nice,” he said. 

“So…you’ll come…to dinner?” she asked.

He nodded. “You’re so sweet, Janet.”

She almost choked on a piece of celery.

“Hey, you okay?” he said rubbing her back with just the tips of his fingers, in slow, hypnotizing circles.

She nodded, staring at him as if he was a ghost or something more unbelievable—a boy just like her father. 

Her mind went zooming back in time when she was about seven. She had rushed home after school, not stopping with Jasmine to play with their friends. It was the only day her father closed his store, so he’d be home. She burst through the front door tossed her book-bag onto the bench in the foyer then shouted, “Daddy! Where are you?”

“In here,” he replied, tossing the newspaper to the side. And just in time, too. Janet had tossed herself on top of him in a brutal hug. “Happy to see me, huh?” Jeffery chuckled, holding her tightly. “How’s my baby girl?”

“I missed you, Daddy. I wish I didn’t hafta go to school on Mondays. I didn’t learn anything today ‘cept that Tony Bishop can blow milk out of his nose and Sandra Miller can do a back handspring. Big whoop!” she said grumpily.

Jeffery laughed and kissed her cheek. “I love my baby,” he said.

“I’m not a baby anymore, silly Daddy,” she said giggling.

“No, you’re not,” he said sadly. “I know you have to grow up, but why does it have to be so fast? I remember when I first held you in my hands. You were so tiny, not even five pounds.”

She watched in fascination as he held his large hands together and looked down at them as if he could still see her that little.

“You were screaming your little head off when you popped into the world, but as soon as I held you, you stopped and just stared at me. Those big brown eyes found me and wouldn’t let go. That’s when I knew you were my baby and you always will be, Janet,” he said smiling and rubbing her back in slow circles.

“But you love Jasmine and Stevie, too, don’t you?” she said looking worried.

“Of course! But you’re my special girl and Jasmine is mom’s special girl. We were so lucky to have twins. Stevie, he’s the only boy, so we gotta share him,” he said shrugging.

“So, twins are better so you don’t hafta share?” she said her eyes growing large and round.

He laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. “Exactly.”

“I love you, Daddy,” she said, hugging him tight around the neck. He hugged her back just as tightly and it felt wonderful, the best feeling ever.

“You’re so sweet, Janet,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Promise you’ll always be a baby girl, no matter how old you get, okay?”

“Janet, why are you looking at me like that?” Wes asked bringing her forcefully back to present.

“Huh?”

He popped the last bit of food into his month and chewed as he stared at her, frowning slightly. “You were a million miles away again. What were you thinking about?” he asked, now sipping the last of his drink and shaking the cup. It rattled with ice.

She handed him her drink which was almost entirely full. “I won’t drink all that. I’d rather just have the  ice.”

“Thanks,” he said, taking the cup. He didn’t drink, but continued to stare at her, a bewildered expression on his face.

“Remember you said I don’t have cooties, so it’s okay for you to take it. You can even change the straw if you like. I won’t get insulted if you don’t want my germs.”

He laughed and she smiled. Then she finally started eating. That pleased him. When there were only a few black olive pushed to the side--he made a mental note to remember she didn't like black olives-- and some salad dressing left in the bowl, he took it from her and stuffed it into the bag it came in, tossed it all into the trash and stood up. He held out a hand to her and she took it. They walked to the car in silence, but they didn’t get in. Instead, they stared at each other, both with too much on their minds.

Wes caressed her cheek silently wishing she would tell him something, anything!

 Without stopping to think, Janet rose on tip-toe and kissed him.

Shocked but delighted, Wes grinned. "My yenta's full of surprises," he said, just before taking her into his arms and hugging her tightly.

He didn't exactly know what the kiss meant, but at this point, he didn't much care. Talking, he decided, was way overrated.

Janet smiled even as tears pricked her eyes. A hug was still the best feeling ever.