Ch 117 Crying

          Because Wendy spent the bulk of the night crying  her eyes out, she had only dropped off to sleep just before dawn. So, you will forgive her for imagining she was dreaming of leisurely Sunday breakfast with Jeffery and the kids laughing and joking together, when the heavenly scent of her favorite muffins drifted into her bedroom from downstairs.

It took some time for her olfactory sense to fully awaken her. After all, she never remembered smelling anything in her dreams, so she couldn’t be actually dreaming, right? She lifted her sleepy head from the pillow and sniffed the air. She wasn’t imagining that! It smelled too good. But how was it possible? No one had that recipe except for her…that she knew.

      She threw back the covers and put a hand to her aching head. She felt almost hung-over. She fleetingly wondered if she had gone drinking with Jeffery. She groaned, wishing she had. The night might have turned out better than it did if she had.

She couldn’t get it out of her head. Jasmine and Troy having sex at home with everyone there? Didn’t they know they were bound to get caught? What were they thinking? More importantly, what was Wendy to do about it? She groaned again. What was she going to tell Jeffery? He had been right about Jasmine having too much freedom and not enough supervision, and Wendy so very wrong to trust her. She knew this never would have happened if Jeffery had been here, living here with his family as he should have been. Jasmine would never have dared defy her father.

     Her mother, on the other hand, Jasmine thought very little. She made that quite apparent last night. Jasmine seemed downright disdainful of Wendy. What a shock. They had always gotten along so well. And what a blow to her maternal pride! She always imagined herself a darn good mother. She’d have to rethink that now.

     If Wendy had only… she sighed. There was no turning back time, as Jasmine stated so well. This was her fault, because she wouldn’t let Jeffery return home. She didn’t want to think what Jeffery would say. “I told you so” would just be the start of it. It would cause a bigger fight than the one that broke them up a few months ago, and look what happened then. There was no hope now of them getting back together…none at all.

She slipped her feet into her fuzzy slippers and tossed a robe on over Jeffery’s ancient Red Hot Chili Peppers t-shirt. She paused to sniff at the shirt which she loved to wear because it still held his scent. Sadly she realized this was as close as she would ever get of Jeffery anymore. She stood up with a sigh and opened her bedroom door. She suddenly felt quite stupid and only getting stupider!

     She clenched her teeth, balled up her fists and went down the stairs. The smell of cinnamon and vanilla enticingly wafting through the air only served to annoy her. That was her special recipe!

Before reaching the kitchen, she could distinctly hear two voices, one of them male. Now she was furious!

     “She wouldn’t dare,” she muttered just before bursting into the kitchen ready to throttle Jasmine and castrate Troy. “What the hell is this?”

     Janet, who had been pouring a glass of milk for Wes, stopped mid-pour and stared at her mother. Wendy looked dreadful. “Mom, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you.”

     Wendy glared at Wes. “Did you sneak back and spend the night with my daughter?”

     Stunned, Wes merely blinked at her then turned his gaze to Janet giving her a look which clearly said, “Didn’t I tell you this would happen?”

     “Mom…”

     Wes stood up and grabbed Janet’s hand, stopping her. “No, I did not, Ms. Meadows. I only just got here a few minutes ago. Thanks for the muffin, Janet. I’ll see you later at church.”

     “Wes, you don’t have to go,” Janet said.

     “Yeah, I do. You and your mom should talk, okay?” He then kissed her cheek and whispered, “I love you,” and left.

     Furious, Janet spun on her heel and was about to yell at Wendy until she saw her crying.

     Wendy wiped at the tears on her face and sniffed. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have done that. Wes isn‘t Troy and you aren’t Jasmine.”

“No, we’re not. Oh, Mom,” Janet said, her anger instantly dissolving. She hugged her. “You barely slept last night. You should go back to bed.”

“How do you know?” she asked, sniffing again.

Janet handed her a tissue. “Thin walls, Mom. I hear everything.” 

Wendy stared in horror, then quickly looked away. “Oh,” she said, blowing her nose.

An awkward silence ensued in which Janet took a still warm muffin, plopped it onto a plate and placed it in front of her mother. “I…uh…used your recipe, kinda. I didn’t want to use so much oil so I substituted apple sauce and I added coconut, ‘cause Wes likes it so much, and I thought raisins would be nice and…”

“In other words, you completely made your own creation,” Wendy said, with a small smile. “Your father’s always saying how much you’re like me and I never believe him…until now. That’s what worries me.”

To Janet’s astonishment Wendy burst out in retched sobs. She glanced around the kitchen looking for anything to stop this. She set the tea kettle to boil after filling it with water, then searched in the cabinet for a good tea. Surely that would help some.

By the time the tea was ready, Wendy had calmed considerably, but Janet placed the steaming cup in front of her anyway, along with honey.

“Thank you, Sweetie,” Wendy mumbled, stirring a bit of honey into the tea. 

“Um…Mom, why does it worry you if I’m like you?”

Wendy looked up, sighed and looked back down into her swirling tea. It took several minutes before she could speak. “Are you and Wes…getting serious?”

Janet frowned at this obvious change of subject. “Serious about what?”

Wendy’s eyebrows lifted, as if to say, “You should know what I’m talking about,” but when Janet still didn’t get it she added, ”Like your sister and her boyfriend.”

“You mean…no!” Janet fiercely said, finally catching on. “I already told Wes I won’t and he’s okay with it.”

Wendy stared at her, her eyes slowly narrowing. “I’m sure it starts out that way, but…”

“He won’t push me into doing anything I don't want to do and I wouldn’t let him even if he did, but he won’t. We just talked about it last night after…” She clamped her lips shut and brushed at imaginary crumbs on the counter.

“Wes is a nice boy,” Wendy said.

“Yes, he is,” Janet said defensively.

“But he’s a teenage boy.”

Janet frowned. “Uh…yeah, so what?”

“Teenage boys think with their…hormones,” Wendy said. “They can’t control…”

Janet glared at her mother. “That’s bull.”

Wendy just blinked. 

“Mom, don’t fall for that they can’t help it crap. Everybody can control themselves if they want to. It’s just that nobody seems to want to anymore, probably because everyone goes around saying, oh, they can’t control it.  It’s total BS. Troy didn’t force Jasmine into bed. She led the way. If she had stopped him, they wouldn’t have…whatever.”
 

Wendy’s eyebrows rose. “And you know this from all your worldly experience?”

“My Yenta business has taught me loads, but I don’t need worldly experience to know it’s all a bunch of bull. Wes would…if I let him, but I won’t, and he likes me enough to…uh…abide by my wishes, and wait.”

Wendy stared at her for a minute then broke off a piece of the muffin and slowly chewed it. “This is really good. You’ll have to give me the recipe.”

“Uh…I don’t have a recipe,” Janet said, a bit thrown.

“Then you should write it down and make one.”

“Uh…okay.”

“I wonder, Janet…how did you get so smart?” Wendy asked.

Janet gaped. She didn’t think she was, at least not very. “Maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve been reading Tara’s blog. She tells it like it really is and won’t take any… any crap from anyone,” she said, biting down on her lip. She still didn’t want to think Tara’s stupid boyfriend had been with Jasmine. Damien was so nice and really seemed to like Tara, but how could he…with Jasmine, if he did? She wondered if she should tell Tara.

Wendy nodded. “It works that way…you’re as smart as the company you keep.”

“Then I must be a genius…between Wes and Tara,” Janet said, trying to smile. “I don’t think it’s got anything to do with being smart. You just gotta…you know… stand firm, be… be true to yourself.”

“To thine own self be true,” Wendy sadly mused.

“Yeah, like that,” Janet said, wondering if her mother was going to start crying again. She kind of looked like she would.

“I suppose you heard… my discussion with Jasmine,” Wendy said, wiping another stray tear away.

Janet nodded, but wouldn’t look at her mother. Instead she put away the milk, spices, sugar, eggs, and half a bag of flaked coconut. 

“You know she was wrong, don’t you?” Wendy asked.

“Of course!” Janet said, “Just cuz everybody else is doing it doesn’t mean you gotta.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Wendy said, picking another piece of the muffin off and popping it into her mouth. “What she said about me.”

Janet stared with bated breath. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“I never regretted having you and Jasmine and Stevie,” she said, earnestly. “I love all of you more than life itself.”

“I know that,” Janet said, just barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes. “But… um…Jazzy has a point, you know. You did… get pregnant first and then you married Dad…so…maybe you married just ‘cause…”

Wendy emphatically shook her head. “I planned it.”

Janet frowned. “Huh?”

Wendy wiped another tear off her cheek. “I’ve never told anyone, not even Dawn or my sister or…I especially never wanted your father to know.”

Trepidation ran along Janet’s spine. She gulped. “What? I won’t tell,” she whispered.

Wendy bit her lip and another tear trickled down to her chin before she could catch it. “I was so afraid.”

“When you got pregnant?” Janet asked.

Wendy shook her head. “I mean…yes, when I had to tell my father I was, but not as scared as I was about losing Jeffery.”

Thoroughly confused, Janet merely stared. “When was this?”

“I… I was supposed to go to culinary school out of state after graduation, but I didn’t want to,” she said in a whisper.

“I don’t understand. I thought it was your childhood dream to become a chef.”

She shrugged. “It was…sort of…until I fell in love and…” 

“Who with?” Janet asked, her eyes even wider.

“Jeffery, of course!”

Janet made a weird face. “I…okay…I don’t get it. What was the problem then?”

“If I went to school, Jeffery and I would rarely see each other.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Janet said.

“But I was thinking more along the lines of out of sight, out of mind,” Wendy countered. “He was staying home, working with his father at the jewelry store and I….”

“Wait…Dad never went to college?” Janet asked, stunned.

“He went to a local school for a while, but that’s not the point,” Wendy said, taking a deep breath. “He was staying home with… and I wasn’t going to be here.”

Janet frowned, getting more confused by the minute. “Who was Dad staying with? Dawn, you mean?”

“If it was only her,” Wendy muttered. “No, Karen Harris was going to school nearby, coming home on weekends. She went out of her way to tell me she was staying close by to keep Jeffery from being lonely while I was off to cooking school.”

“But Dad never liked her, Mom. Dawn told me,” Janet said. “You weren’t seriously thinking he was going to…to cheat on you with her while you were away?”

“That’s exactly what I thought and I couldn’t let that happen. I wasn’t going to lose him to that conniving slut!”

Janet blinked. Never had she heard her mother use that word, so it was more than shocking to hear it now. “So…you thought she was going to steal him away?”

“I knew that was exactly what she would try unless I stopped her…or ensured Jeffery would not leave me,” she said.

“Um…how did you do that?” Janet asked.

“I…gave myself to him,” she whispered.

“Like…sex?” Janet said, then her eyes widening as a bulb lit in her head. She gasped. “You…you mean you got pregnant on purpose?”

Wendy closed her eyes, bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. “I trapped Jeffery.”

Janet stared, astonished, until she recalled how many times her father had told her how and when he fell in love with her mom. She smiled. “Mom, I’m pretty sure Dad wanted to be trapped with you.”

“You think?” Wendy asked, looking both doubtful and hopeful. 

Janet actually laughed and shook her head. “No, not think. I know. I bet if you hadn’t tried and succeeded in getting pregnant and forcing him to marry you, he might have done it himself!”

“What? Try to get me pregnant?”

“Exactly. He was nuts for you since the seventh grade. He told me he wanted to marry you even then, so what would make you think he wasn’t happy he got you pregnant?”

Wendy looked off into space. “He wasn’t at all upset like I thought he would be when Dawn told him.”

“You didn’t tell him yourself?” Janet said, incredulously.

“I…I was afraid to. What if he…told me to get an abortion or something? I told Dawn and she called him over to her house and…she then yelled at him for about an hour…”

“Yeah, starting to think she likes doing that,” Janet said, smirking.

“Yes, a bit. She told him that he was stupid for what he did to me and now we were screwed and that he had to marry me right away…maybe even elope, because my father wasn't going to be happy.”

Janet tried not to smile. “And what did he say?”

Wendy’s face took on a glow. “He smiled a little, but he looked like he was trying not to. He then sat next to me on Dawn’s messy bed, he put his arm around me and said, “We’re gonna have a baby. That’s so cool!” Then Dawn yelled at him again, but I don’t think he was listening to any of it. He kissed me and whispered that everything was gonna be okay…better than okay, ‘cause we loved each other and always would. Then he started talking about what we had to do, get a dress for me, a tux for him, get a church. I thought it was weird...like he had already been planning a wedding.”

“Yeah, he really sounded freaked out that he was about to become a dad,” Janet said.

“No, he didn’t, not one bit,” Wendy defended.

Janet laughed. “I was kidding, Mom.”

“Too bad it can’t be like that again,” Wendy said, wiping at another tear.

 “Gees, Mom, what are you thinking? It’s already like that, it never stopped being like that. He’s been like…going crazy and doing everything he can to get back together with you. He loves you madly.”

“He just wants what he always had, a home and you kids and everything back to normal.”

Janet stared shaking her head incredulous. “Well, duh. You don’t know Dad at all if you think...” she said. “Mom, do you love him anymore? Like really love him?”

She nodded without hesitation, but she scowled. “I just…Karen Harris is a major thorn in my side, and thinking of him with her…make me crazy,” Wendy said, her voice trembling with what could only be rage.

Janet put her arm around her mother and squeezed. “Mom, what you think happened never did. So, will you let me tell you what really happened? Please?”

Wendy took a minute to calm down then she nodded, but just as Janet was about to begin telling her the whole story, Tristan walked in with his shirt on backwards, his hair sticking up all over the place and his shoes on the wrong feet. He looked so pathetic and cute they both laughed.

“Come here, Sweetie,” Wendy said to Tristan. Looking to Janet she added, “Maybe after church we can talk again?”

          “I can’t, Mom. Luke and Alana want me to practice today. We may not get much of a chance to practice before Saturday, so… Maybe tonight when I get back.”

Wendy nodded. Somehow she knew everything would turn out all right….or hoped it would.